Some juvenile faux-writing

I can't believe how old this piece is-I wrote it back when Wrath of the Lich King had just come out and people were still using the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air meme. It was languishing in one of my many notepad files. I present the Dead Ranger of Bel-Air:


Dead Ranger of Bel-air:

Now this the story about how
My life got switch-swapped went around
And don’t worry ‘bout the blade stuck in yo head
I’ll tell you how I became the one of the undead

In west Quel’thalas, trained and served,
I’m very best pals with the beasts and the birds,
Seeking, hunting, killing them intruders
And hobnobbin’ with the best elven shooters

When the might of Scourge,
Bringin’ the pain,
Tried to get to our ‘chanted fountain
I made one little counter and Arthas got pissed,
He said, “I’ll have to do somethin’ ‘bout that elven bitch.”

I whistled for my troops as the dead came near,
Ghouls and Fiends and Zombies were here,
I anything, I had nothing to say,
But I thought, “For the elves!” “Yo homes, fire away!”

The battle was long, well into the day,
Until Arthas came for me, and then I was slain
He thought a clean kill was way too unfair,
I was raised from the dead, so let the living beware.

Sylvanas: "What in the Forsaken's name?"